


i’ve been saving myself for you

by grubauers



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 819 is just a number for love, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, they've been together for over ten goddamn years and i still can't stop crying about it, things you said
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-07 02:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13424787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grubauers/pseuds/grubauers
Summary: He’s not nineteen anymore.





	i’ve been saving myself for you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tsumego](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsumego/gifts).



> for tsumego! 
> 
> i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it!
> 
> a little bit of notes at the end.
> 
> enjoy :)

_ Things you said when you were drunk _

 

It’s Nicky’s 30th birthday, and of course they’re going out. Nicky hates being the center of attention, prefers being the center of a hockey line, but there’s really nothing he can do. Not when he’s so weak for Alex’s smile, so weak for the way he grabs Nicky’s elbow and makes those stupid puppy dog eyes, that would look stupid to anyone else, but just makes Nicky love Alex that much more. 

So after letting Alex persuade him for five minutes, Nicky finally gives in and accepts to go out, much to the delight of everyone else.

After all, it wouldn’t really be Nicky’s 30th birthday celebration without Nicky.

\/\/\/\/\/

They’ve been playing together for ten years now, just a little over that. It still makes Nicky flustered (although he doesn’t show it, years of media training have perfectly taught him how to keep his emotions in check) when Alex puts his arm around him and drags (rather, Nicky lets himself be dragged) into the club.

It’s loud, and dark, save for the bright lights of the dance floor. It’s full, but not so jam-packed that they can’t find enough booths and tables to sit close to each other. They quickly find a large booth, which fits about six of them. Alex gently shoves Nicky towards it, and (of course) Nicky goes willingly, and scoots all the way to the end. Much to his delight, Alex goes in after him. 

“First round on me,” Nicky says, because why not, it’s his birthday and he’s happy, and he just wants his friends to be happy with him too. 

“No, no, no,” Alex says, and shakes his head. “It’s best Backy’s best birthday, can’t pay for drinks on own birthday. First round on  _ me.” _

Everyone cheers, and Nicky tries to ignore how Alex briefly squeezing his shoulder makes him feel. 

He’s not nineteen anymore. 

\/\/\/\/\/

Nicky isn’t dumb, he knows that what he feels for Alex is past  _ just a crush.  _ Marcus had once told him that he might even be  _ in love  _ with Alex. Nicky had blown it off, but now he knows that maybe Marcus had seen something that he hadn’t, or just wasn’t ready to admit to yet. After all, how dumb do you have to be to fall for a teammate. What if things went wrong and the team chemistry got all fucked up? Nicky just couldn’t risk it; there was no way he would. 

It gets harder and harder over the years to hide his feelings for Alex. He’s pretty sure at least half the team knows - knows for a fact that Braden and Philipp know about his feelings, overheard them discussing them at least a couple of times - and if they don’t, they just haven’t been paying any attention. Nicky’s pretty sure Alex falls in the latter category.

Maybe, just maybe, the reason why Nicky allows himself to go so easily to the dancefloor with Alex is because he’s pretty fucking drunk, and maybe weak, and maybe stupid. But he doesn’t care. He knows Alex is drunk too, maybe a little less drunk than Nicky, but still not sober. 

“Look really sweaty,” Alex says once they’re on the dance floor. 

Alex pushes a sweaty curl out of Nicky’s face, and Nicky can’t help but flutter his eyes shut. Nicky keeps them shut because he feels Alex drag a thumb across his cheek. It sends a chill down his spine that makes him feel electric all through his body. 

“Love of my life so beautiful,” Alex says; it’s loud enough for just the two of them to hear in a club that has music blaring through its speakers. “Ten years together, ten.”

Nicky opens his eyes just as Alex closes his, and leans in. It’s an automatic reaction, really, when Nicky closes his eyes as soon as their lips meet. It is everything he imagined this moment to be like, and at the same time, nothing at all like he expected it to. Really, it’s a nice surprise.

They dance out two songs, and don’t talk about the kiss. Don’t talk about it for the rest of the night.

\/\/\/\/\/

Nicky almost elbows Alex in the face the next morning. He doesn’t remember them falling asleep together, in Alex’s bed, but, it’s almost like it was planned. And maybe it was, by Alex, who wasn’t all that drunk.

“Please tell me we didn’t do something dumb last night,” Nicky says, and swallows; his mouth feels like something maybe died in there last night. 

It’s silent for a while, Nicky almost thinks Alex is still sleeping.

“Nothing very dumb,” Alex says. “Just became official.”

“Official?”

“Boyfriends. You, me. About time, honestly, ten years and best Backy don’t know I love him. Silly.”

Nicky feels like a two ton weight has just been lifted off his shoulders. He blows out a huge breath and opens his eyes.

“Hey,” he says, and smiles. “It took you ten years too, to find out that I love you.”

Alex laughs. 

It’s Nicky’s favorite sound in the entire world.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> some thoughts:
> 
> -thanks to jarka for setting this up so glad i got to participate in it  
> -i have way too many feelings about 819 being together for so long that i literally cannot articulate them enough bc i dont think i know enough words in english to say everything properly so  
> -based on [this](http://grubauers.tumblr.com/post/141812291223/send-me-a-ship-and-one-of-these-and-ill-write-a) tumblr post  
> -title from _fast times at clairemont high_ by pierce the veil (oh hello emo phase from high school)  
>  -[twitter](https://twitter.com/grubauers) / [tumblr](http://grubauers.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks for reading!


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